Jake
Why do people put up with their shit?
There’s so many cartoon characters out there that we are supposed to warm to and take to our hearts.These guys are supposed to be the good guys we root for, but in reality they are really annoying assholes who get away with too much shit and they need to be stopped today!
Let’s take a look at some of those characters that are irritating AF!
Alvin from the Chipmunks
“Alviiiiiinnn!!!” There’s so many things wrong with Alvin and the Chipmunks cartoon. Obviously, the fact that our so-called beloved trio are some kind of weird chipmunk/human hybrid species, they speak, sing, go to school and live with a guy called Dave and everyone accepts this as normal.
Alvin is one annoying, spoilt, arrogant asshole and he’s the only one who gets to have his first initial on his sweater. F**k you Simon and f**k you Theodore!
You can guarantee that if you tell him something he will do the opposite because it would be more fun and he knows better and he gets away with it too!
Thomas the Tank Engine
If the Fat Controller tells Thomas something like “be careful with your load today it’s very valuable.” You can guarantee that he will then do the opposite. He will probably have a race with another engine or try to go as fast as he can because a diesel engine said he was slow, because basically he’s an immature asshole who only cares about himself!
After destroying his valuable load by going too fast downhill.
Thomas says “Buff my buffers!”
I reply “Thomas you a*hole!” shaking my fist angrily!
Bugs Bunny
Most of the Looney Tunes characters are annoying wouldn’t you say? Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Foghorn Leghorn, Yosemite Sam etc. All so Anoooyyying!
Today, we are just going to choose Bugs Bunny for this one. There’s a number of reasons why Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam and various other cartoon hunters would want to catch and kill that pesky rabbit. Not just because he’s a rabbit but because he’s a huge arrogant asshole who needs taking down a peg or two!
Look at him in the picture above looking all smug and pleased with himself. He’s probably just outwitted Elmer Fudd by dressing up as a woman and luring him off a cliff! Bugs utters the line ” Ain’t I a stinker?” Which really makes me want to punch him in the face!
Woody Woodpecker
Woody Woodpecker is clearly insane! I don’t even need to explain why he’s such an asshole! Look at that still taken from one of his cartoons. I’m too scared to write any more because I don’t want to mess with that psycho!
Inspector Gadget
Why is Gadget such an asshole? The biggest reason is…. He takes credit for solving crime and completing dangerous missions, when really it was his niece Penny and Brains the dog that did all the work. He’s also obviously suffering from some kind of delusion too because he keeps mistaking M.A.D agents for good guys and Brains the dog as one of Dr. Claws evil henchmen!
Go, go gadget facepalm!
Slimer – The Real Ghostbusters
He comes under the category of annoying sidekick/comic relief character like so many other irritating AF characters such as Snarf from Thundercats and Orko from He-Man, but we will come to those guys later!
All Slimer does is eat, talk bullshit that you can’t understand and get his slime everywhere. He has no other purpose. Why do they put up with him?
You can guarantee if Peter has a pizza or Ray bakes a cake. Slimer will gobble it all up and If you tell him off for being such a jerk he will sob and run off. This resulting in the Ghostbusters having to spend an entire episode looking for him because he will have been captured or brainwashed by some other ghoul!
Just shove him in the reactor with all the other phantasms and be done with it!
Patrick Star – Spongebob Squarepants
Patrick is a bit of a dullard. He is the kind of clumsy person that you wouldn’t let pet your puppy because he’d end up killing it! How does this guy get through everyday life?
Scrooge McDuck – Duck Tales
Look at him. All that money he keeps in his own private vault and not in a pesky bank. I bet he doesn’t pay his fair share of taxes.
How is he so rich? There is one story where Scrooge privately admitted to his nephews that he had used an army of “cutthroats” to get tribes to abandon their lands, in order to establish a rubber plantation, which sounds really horrifying! In other stories he found a nugget of gold as big as a goose egg and then travels the world to build up his fortune maybe finding ancient artifacts and shit!
But even with all that money, he’s still a tight bastard!
Orko – He-Man and the Masters of the Universe
If you research crap wizards you will surely come across the name Orko and probably Presto from Dungeons and Dragons.
You can guarantee when you need a bit of magic to save from a sticky situation then Orko will probably fail, but somehow still end up helping in a crazy way. He’s really shit at his what he does… You’re a wizard you have one job!
Snarf – Thundercats
He’s a pointless character. He gets in the way, he messes up and he can’t even fight like the rest of the Thundercats. You can guarantee he’ll be the first one to get captured and have to be rescued. The most annoying thing is that he whines with the annoying words “Snarf, snarf, snarf!”
Bender – Futurama
If there is any character that only cares about himself then it’s Bender from Futurama, although the only difference between Bender and all the other characters in this list is, that he knows he’s a complete jerk. Bender exhibits sociopathic behavior, he’s a thief and also a pathological liar and rarely shows any empathy.
He’s one arrogant selfish bastard! What does he say about that? “Bite my shiny metal ass!”
Finally…. The Fat Controller
We’re back in Sodor again for the final person. When I grew up I always remember a specific episode of Thomas the Tank Engine. It’s from the 1980s, when Thomas was made with real model trains and epic sets and not shitty CGI like it is now. It’s an episode called ‘The Sad Story of Henry’ and it’s about Henry who doesn’t want to get his shiny green paint dirty, so stops in a tunnel and refuses to budge. What the Fat Controller does next is pure mental. He pulls up the tracks and bricks poor Henry in the tunnel and leaves him in there, while obviously losing a train line and engine in the process, which would cause massive interruptions to the rail service and cost the rail company an absolute shit load of money.
Why does he do it? Because he can! He really wants to insert his power and put Henry in his place… rotting in a bricked up tunnel! I can see him beating some poor smaller guy with his walking stick and shouting “You know what I did to Henry? Then you will respect my authority!”
