Or maybe we were just younger, but don’t ruin this for us.
There are two types of people in the world.
Those who grew up in the 1990s.
And those who have to listen to people who grew up in the 1990s.
According to anyone who survived that glorious decade, the 90s represented the absolute peak of human civilisation. Nothing before it mattered, and everything since has been an elaborate mistake involving subscription services, QR codes and people filming themselves crying on TikTok.
Ask someone born between 1980 and 1995 what life was like, and they’ll stare wistfully into the distance before uttering the sacred phrase:
“You just had to be there.”
The Internet Made You Earn It
Children today complain when a webpage takes more than three seconds to load.
In the 90s, loading a single picture of a Labrador required patience normally reserved for monks.
The internet didn’t simply connect you to the world. It disconnected the rest of your house.
The screech of a 56k modem was more than a sound—it was an announcement.
“Nobody pick up the phone!”
Five minutes later, your mum would answer a call from Auntie Sandra and your entire online existence would vanish into the digital abyss.
Character building.
Mobile Phones Were Actually… Phones
Modern smartphones can translate languages, edit films and identify plants.
The Nokia 6110 could do exactly four things.
Call.
Text.
Snake.
Survive atmospheric re-entry.
Nobody needed sixteen camera lenses because nobody was photographing their lunch from twelve different angles.
If your holiday photos were blurry, too bad.
You didn’t discover it until Boots developed the film three weeks later.
Friday Nights Belonged to Blockbuster
Explaining Blockbuster to younger generations is like describing a medieval marketplace.
Imagine Netflix…
…except you had to leave the house.
There was genuine drama.
Would the new release still be available?
Would someone have hidden the last copy behind The English Patient?
Would your dad insist on renting another Steven Seagal film despite overwhelming evidence?
These were real problems.
Real people.
Real disappointment.
Saturday Morning Was Sacred
Saturday mornings weren’t for mindfulness.
They were for cartoons, sugary cereal and sitting six inches away from a television the size of a washing machine.
Parents didn’t know where you were.
Mostly because you were exactly where they left you.
Watching another four hours of television while eating enough E-numbers to temporarily become fluorescent.
Social Media Was Called “Going Outside”
Need to know where your mates were?
Simple.
Ride your bike around the estate until you found a pile of bicycles outside someone’s house.
No location sharing.
No group chats.
No live maps.
Just detective work.
If your friend wasn’t home, you accepted defeat and tried someone else.
Remarkably, civilisation continued.
Gaming Was Simpler
Games launched finished.
If something was unlocked, you unlocked it by actually playing.
Not by purchasing the Platinum Dragon Unicorn Deluxe Season Pass for £24.99.
Split-screen multiplayer was glorious.
Your biggest enemy wasn’t a toxic stranger from another continent.
It was your mate looking at your half of the television.
“Stop screen-looking!”
The international language of sibling warfare.
Television United the Nation
Missed your favourite programme?
That’s unfortunate.
You’ll catch it next year.
There was no pause button.
No catch-up.
No streaming.
If everyone watched Friends, The X-Files or The Simpsons on Thursday night, everyone discussed it on Friday morning.
Nobody worried about spoilers because nobody had uploaded seventeen YouTube reaction videos before breakfast.
Music Required Commitment
Buying an album meant taking a financial risk.
You’d spend your hard-earned pocket money because you liked one song.
Sometimes the rest of the album was brilliant.
Sometimes you’d accidentally funded 11 tracks of absolute nonsense.
Either way, you listened to the whole thing because you’d already spent £14.99.
Streaming has made us rich in music…
…and poor in patience.
Parents Had No Idea Where You Were
“I’ll be back before it gets dark.”
That was the entire itinerary.
No GPS.
No Find My iPhone.
No hourly welfare checks.
Parents simply trusted that eventually you’d wander home, slightly muddy and mysteriously hungry.
Looking back, it’s astonishing anyone survived.
Looking further back, it’s astonishing parents remained so calm.
Everything Felt Bigger
Christmas.
The World Cup.
Summer holidays.
The latest PlayStation game.
The first DVD.
The first MP3.
Even going to Toys “R” Us felt like entering another dimension.
Maybe it wasn’t objectively better.
Maybe we were just ten years old.
But don’t expect anyone from the 90s to admit that.
The Verdict
Were the 90s actually the greatest decade ever?
Probably not.
Healthcare has improved.
Cars are safer.
Televisions no longer require two adults and a forklift to move.
You can order almost anything without leaving your sofa.
Objectively, life is better in countless ways.
But emotionally?
Emotion doesn’t care about objectivity.
It remembers the smell of a freshly opened video game box.
The excitement of renting a film.
The thrill of hearing your favourite song on the radio.
The satisfaction of beating your best friend at GoldenEye while insisting you definitely weren’t screen-looking.
So yes, perhaps every generation believes its childhood was the best.
The difference is…
People who grew up in the 90s are absolutely convinced they’re right.
And honestly?
It’s getting increasingly difficult to argue with them.
