Every few years something arrives that’s supposed to “change the automotive industry.”
This year it’s the Chinese EV.
Apparently they’re cheaper, packed with technology and loaded with features. Which immediately raises the obvious question:
What’s gone wrong?
Because in Britain we’ve learned one universal truth:
If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.
These cars promise luxury, giant touchscreens, heated everything, enough cameras to film the next series of Big Brother, and a price tag that somehow undercuts everyone else.
Sorry, but nobody is fooling me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I’d rather pay an extra £20,000 for a badge everyone recognises and then spend the next five years arguing with the dealer about software updates.
At least that’s honest.
Then there’s the endless list of unfamiliar brands.
Every week another one appears.
BYD.
XPeng.
NIO.
Zeekr.
Jaecoo.
Omoda.
It sounds less like a motor show and more like someone has dropped a Scrabble bag down the stairs.
People say, “They’re the future.”
So were 3D televisions.
Remember those?
Exactly.
And don’t get me started on the technology.
Apparently the car can recognise your face, park itself, talk to you, play karaoke, update its own software and probably judge your driving.
I don’t want my car becoming more intelligent than I am.
I want it to start, drive and occasionally ignore me like every other machine in my house.
Supporters insist these cars represent fantastic value.
That’s exactly what worries me.
When did we become comfortable hearing the words “It’s half the price and comes with twice as much” without instinctively checking where the catch is?
Meanwhile, our own manufacturers are expected to compete with this.
Good luck.
They’re still trying to decide whether heated seats should cost another £1,500.
Of course, the enthusiasts will point out that many well-known global car makers already build vehicles or source components in China.
Please. Stop ruining a perfectly good rant with facts.
Buying a car isn’t just about logic.
It’s about emotion.
It’s about tradition.
It’s about spending far more than you intended because the salesman convinced you that a panoramic roof is “an investment.”
That’s the proper motoring experience.
So no, I won’t be buying a Chinese EV.
Not because I’ve done months of detailed engineering research.
Not because I’ve compared reliability data.
Not because I’ve read independent safety reports.
Simply because I enjoy shouting “They don’t make them like they used to!” while driving a car that’s currently displaying seven warning lights and asking me to book a service.
And frankly…
…that’s a tradition worth preserving.
