If you have ever worked in the design or tech support industry then you will probably have come across your fair share of ‘Clients from Hell’.
From the clients who don’t want to pay, to the ones who think they know better. The clients who expect miracles or the clients who just don’t know what they want.
Some of these quotes below might actually sound familiar to you and you may have actually experienced even worse. Clients can drive you crazy but we put up with them to pay the bills right?
“Why is it that the people on CSI can enhance an image and cut out the crap in seconds WHILE SOLVING A MURDER, and you need almost an HOUR to do it!?”
Client: Hey, while I have you here, this website I’m trying to get to keeps giving me an error. Do you know how to fix it?
Me: Sorry, that’s an issue that the people who maintain that website would have to deal with. You can try reporting the problem to them using their Contact link.
Client: I don’t see why you just can’t you just hack into it and fix the problem. I thought you were supposed to be this great computer guy.
Client: My business email isn’t working in Outlook.
Me: Okay, is it working through the browser?
Client: I don’t know. Our office lost internet access.
Me: Um… an internet connection is required for email.
Client: Oh, so we can’t troubleshoot the email? But Outlook doesn’t use Internet Explorer.
Me: I’ll be making your 8’x8’ banner. Do you have any original files for the logos you sent over? Jpeg images will look blurry when scaled larger.
Client: I sent over the logos!
Me: Yes, those are jpeg images: when they’re scaled, they become pixilated. What I need is the original vector format. The original designer might be able to help.
Client: I’m the original designer and I made those in jpeg!
Me: Jpeg is the image format, I need the original format, like the Illustrator file.
Client: I did my research. You can just take a jpeg image, put it into illustrator, and it becomes the original file.
Me: It’s… not the original vector format. What did you make these logos in?
Client: I made them in jpeg!
Me: No, I mean what tool did you use to create these images?
Client: Oh, MS Paint!
“We’re looking for a high-exposure designer for our site. We want some flash stuff, maybe even some other interactive features. I can only afford a one-time $25 payment upon completion/upload of the site, however it’s a great way to add a fun, popular business to your portfolio.”
“The woman in this photo is perfect, but she needs to be disabled. Can you photoshop her so she only has one arm?”
“Can’t you just draw it not as good for cheaper?”
Me: Just go on to our website and select the “My Account” button.
Client: I don’t see it.
Me: It’s on the black banner, in the top right corner
Client: I’m looking, I don’t see it!
Me: Are you on our website?
Me: Can you please go to the website?
Client: No, I’m not at my computer
“Why should I pay? I thought we were friends…”
A client I regularly work with (and am paid by)
“This font seems a little dated, let’s try something more modern. I’ve always loved that Comic Sans.”
“Here, I really like Apple’s logo, so I’ve taken their logo and put our name under it.”
“Can you twat this out?”
“The site is broken. When I’m on the home page and I click the back button, it takes me to another site.”
If I pay you half that amount, can you complete it in half the time?”
Client: “I want it to be like Facebook”
Me: “Did you have a budget in mind for this project?”
Client: “I need to get it done for under $500
“Most of our photos are all white people, but we need to show more diversity, and we don’t have the budget for another photoshoot. But I’m sure you can just change them to various races, I mean, that’s what a graphic designer does, right?”
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