Jake
It can be tough out there in the dating world. Especially when you are a peanut butter and jelly sandwich short of a picnic!
If you are looking for love, then why not take a look at these really awful dating profiles and see if any of them seem like a perfect match for you.
Will any of these (crazy) people ever find love?
The Love Machine
He can get your c**t rubbered up!
The BDSM Master
“Let me beat you like a slave”
Uncle Fester
“I’m a right b**tard, I am!”
The Ass Taking Gold Digger
She can ‘whistle whilst she twerks!’
The Cyber Stalker
Just make sure you check out his profile before blocking him!
The Fat Jon Snow
A ‘nice guy’ who thinks women should know their place!
The Guy with Standards!
Only clean and trusted pussies please!
The Fetish Guy
Likes dressing up like a f**kin’ pink fluffy cat, but hates homosexuals!
The Rig Driving Serial Killer
I like welding and shootin’ (in between eating probably!)
The G-Man
Ladies… This guy is a keeper!
Ol’ Roaming Eyes
This guy will treat you right if you will have him. he likes ‘internet money food’, but you got to watch them roaming eyes!
The Snake Man
I don’t think goal number number 4 will be hard to achieve!
Cat-Woman
Fallen on hard times and Selena never leaves the house without her condums (sic) and red nail polish.
The Moron
Block. Block. Block. Block. Block
The Twat in the Hat
Has a lot of prejudices
F**k Dis Shit
His secret is ‘being a nerd and reading books’, but not really. F**k you!
The Derp
Doesn’t understand how dating works!
The ‘Juggalo’
Juggalo (sic). What is that? Can you use it in a sentence for me. “The ‘juggalo’ was a total and utter clown-faced f**kwit!”
The Cannibal
Lives by the codes of honour and chivalry. Likes anime and not afraid to taste human meat!
The Funny Guy
I bet he had a right chuckle when he though of that answer!
The Psychopath
Hobbies include ‘women shooting’!
The Disney Nut-Job
He really wants a princess he can treat like shit!
The Man in Denial
Listen up. He does not want a man or boy, alright?!
The Honest Guy
He tells it like it is
The Gun Freak
Doesn’t know why he hasn’t got many matches
The Friend-zoned Contradiction Idiot
He likes women for their heart and not their bodies, but no fatties please!
The Impatient Guy
Stop asking so many damned questions! He just wants to get down to the dating
The WTF?
Hobbies include dressing in bin bags and drinking pickle juice!
The Ghetto Vampire
He’s crazy. He’s got bitches everywhere. So many, they are right up to his medula oblongata and he’s still a virgin!
The Joker
Laughs at butt jokes!
The Fun Guy
Surf’s up bitches. Who wouldn’t be interested from this hilarious photo?
The Deluded
Peter Parker finally decided to reveal his true identity. All to find true love.
The Maniac
This ex-beauty pageant winner knows exactly what the ladies want. Guns, bad tattoos, dungarees, liquor and a room that looks like a prison cell. He’s got it all going on!
The Honest Guy
He’s a ‘sex attic’ (sic) and not afraid to admit it!
The Melvin
There is nothing more Melvin likes than steak, chipotle sauce, movies and c**t licking!
The Shirtless Man
He’s got huge areolas!
The Inappropriate Profile Picture Guy
Wants you to call him ‘The Tim’. Nobody wants that view!
The Farter
Enough said!
The Smooth Talker
He knows how to talk to the ladies!
The Wig Wearing Artist
Proud to wear a 18th century pirate wig!
The Anti-Feminist
Thinks women should know their place in society
The Swag Guy
A total swag douche!
The Kinky Racist Sexist Friendizoned Douchebag (aka The Worst Human Being)
Thinks women have a superpower of blocking getting pregnant, likes computers and My Little Pony. Has really awful taste in music and hats.
The Wannabe Airplane
Apparently, going to college to be an airplane!
The Terrorist
Want to know what he is up to? Then ask the FBI, NSA, DHS, NYPD or Mossad, because he apparently doesn’t have a clue!
The Fisherman
Has a really funny anecdote about falling in the water
The God Fearing Old Guy
Hobbies include waiting to die and fearing God!
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