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20 (Totally True) Kick-Ass ‘Chuck Norris Facts’

He is 74 years old and could still kick your ass!

Chuck Norris – what a legend! Movie star, TV star, Martial Arts Master and philanthropist. A guy who has been cracking heads since the 1960’s. He is 74 years old and could still kick your ass!

He’s been acting for over 40 years and starred in many movies such as Enter the Dragon, alongside Bruce Lee, 80’s action movie The Delta Force, television series Walker, Texas Ranger, and he is still acting today. And that’s not all, Norris is a martial arts champion who won the Professional Middleweight Karate champion title in 1968. A title that he would hold for six consecutive years. In 1969, he won Karate’s triple crown for the most tournament wins of the year, and the Fighter of the Year award by Black Belt Magazine.

In 1990 he made history when he was the first Westerner in the history of Tae Kwon Do to be given the rank of 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master. In 1999, Norris was inducted into the Martial Arts History Museum’s Hall of Fame. On July 1, 2000, Norris was presented the Golden Lifetime Achievement Award by the World Karate Union Hall of Fame.

The resurrection of a legend – Although people had started to forget about Norris, in late 2005 internet memes started popping up as “Chuck Norris Facts”, which document fictional, often absurdly heroic feats and characteristics about Norris and bringing his legend to a younger generation and cemented his name in pop culture forever.

So, wthout further ado, here are 20 (Totally True) Kick-Ass ‘Chuck Norris Facts’

20 (Totally True) Kick-Ass 'Chuck Norris Facts' - Girly Design Blog

FACT #1


CHUCK NORRIS DOESN’T FLUSH THE TOILET, HE SCARES THE S#*T OUT OF IT!

 

FACT #2


CHUCK NORRIS HAS A GRIZZLY BEAR CARPET IN HIS ROOM. THE BEAR ISN’T DEAD, IT’S JUST AFRAID TO MOVE

 

20 (Totally True) Kick-Ass 'Chuck Norris Facts' - Girly Design Blog

FACT #3


CHUCK NORRIS HAS ALREADY BEEN TO MARS; THAT IS WHY THERE ARE NO SIGNS OF LIFE.

 

FACT #4


WHEN CHUCK NORRIS WAS BORN HE DROVE HIS MOM HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL.

 

FACT #5


CHUCK NORRIS DOESN’T WEAR A WATCH HE JUST DECIDES WHAT TIME IT IS.

 

FACT #6


MICHAEL JACKSON COULD DO THE MOONWALK ON EARTH, BUT CHUCK NORRIS CAN DO THE EARTH WALK ON THE MOON.

 

20 (Totally True) Kick-Ass 'Chuck Norris Facts' - Girly Design Blog

FACT #7


FEAR OF SPIDERS IS ARACHNOPHOBIA. FEAR OF SMALL SPACES IS CLAUSTROPHOBIA. AND FEAR OF CHUCK NORRIS IS LOGIC.

 

FACT #8


WHEN CHUCK NORRIS DOES A PUSH-UP, HE ISN’T LIFTING HIMSELF UP, HE’S PUSHING THE EARTH DOWN.

 

FACT #9


CHUCK NORRIS CAN SQUEEZE ORANGE JUICE OUT OF A LEMON OR AN APPLE.

 

FACT #10


CHUCK NORRIS’S CALENDAR GOES STRAIGHT FROM MARCH 31ST TO APRIL 2ND. NO ONE FOOLS CHUCK NORRIS!

 

FACT #11


CHUCK NORRIS IS THE ONLY HUMAN WHO CAN’T HAVE A HEART ATTACK, SIMPLY BECAUSE HIS HEART ISN’T STUPID ENOUGH TO ATTACK CHUK NORRIS.

 

FACT #12


WHEN CHUCK NORRIS LOOKS IN A MIRROR, THERE IS NO REFLECTION. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE CHUCK NORRIS.

 

20 (Totally True) Kick-Ass 'Chuck Norris Facts' - Girly Design Blog

FACT #13


CHUCK NORRIS ACTUALLY DIED 10 YEARS AGO, BUT DEATH HASN’T BUILT UP THE COURAGE TO TELL HIM YET.

 

 

FACT #14


EVERY TIME CHUCK NORRIS HAS A STARING CONTEST WITH THE SUN. A SOLAR ECLIPSE OCCURS.

 

FACT #15


CHUCK NORRIS DOESN’T CALL THE WRONG NUMBER. YOU ANSWER THE WRONG PHONE.

 

FACT #16


CHUCK NORRIS ONCE KICKED A HORSE IN THE CHIN. ITS DECENDENTS ARE KNOWN TODAY AS GIRAFFES.

 

20 (Totally True) Kick-Ass 'Chuck Norris Facts' - Girly Design Blog

FACT #17


CHUCK NORRIS IS THE ONLY MAN IN HISTORY WHO PLAYED RUSSIAN ROULETTE WITH A FULLY LOADED REVOLVER AND WON.

 

FACT #18


WHEN ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL INVENTED THE TELEPHONE HE HAD 3 MISSED CALLS FROM CHUCK NORRIS.

 

FACT #19


CHUCK NORRIS ONCE GOT BIT BY A RATTLE SNAKE… AFTER 3 DAYS OF PAIN AND AGONY… THE RATTLE SNAKE DIED!

 

 

and finally….

FACT #20


CHUCK NORRIS DOES NOT SLEEP. HE WAITS!

Written by Jay

A caffeine based life form. Current Editor-in-Chief of Joyenergizer.

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